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my landlord wakes up from a dead sleep in the middle of the night and flicks on the light so see me, perched on her dresser and eating dry ramen noodles. I shove a handful in my mouth and ask: "hey why isn't my february rent cheaper than the other months? there's 2 whole days missing, what's up with that?"

@laughwhilecrying to which she replies “February is actually the standard rate; all other months are discounted, including February on leap years. I also accept Ramen bricks as payment.”

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