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retoot or fav this if you'd hypothetically wanna be my gf

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a lot of ppl i know are getting new friends on insta bc of uni or new jobs or whatever and im just happy after i finished high school i got onto mastodon to get friends to hype me up under my insta selfies too

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retoot this to instantly marry me

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:heart_bisexual: :best_pika: boosted

good morning, I had cute dog pictures for breakfast

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nobody enjoys the pics of my dog anymore so now she's sad look at what you've done you cruel people

in case you cant quite make it out bc low quality, its my dog staring at me from under three blankets...

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:heart_bisexual: :best_pika: boosted
:heart_bisexual: :best_pika: boosted

One time, I had the genious idea of putting hot milk in a drink pitcher to make frothed milk.

It exploded.

guess what happened at work again today lads

wish i was an insta model-slash-foodie from middle-class parents so i could afford a spacious apartment + kitchen + furniture too

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@pikachu don't be mad at them! it's hard being 5 billion years old

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please someone tell the sun to hurry up and come closer already

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if Spiderverse doesnt win I will commit actual arson

huddling in front of the heater with this weather but still my toes are freezing

earlier today when I wanted to shower my hands (and feet) were so cold that i thought the water was pretty warm and then i stepped under it and it was so cold i said "what the fuck?" out loud

furniture in general has NO business being that expensive

someone tell ikea chairs aint that big a deal i can sit on the floor they should be cheaper

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people spend $500 on shoes???? wtf????

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@pikachu They should barely be categorised as shoes tbh

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Tootsite

Just a general instance with a catchy name.