girl on fb: baby happy 3 week anniversary sometimes you drive me crazy like you make me go absolutely feral i literally hate your guts so much i want to stab a fork through your eyes but ily anyway!! 💕💞
attached is a picture of the ugliest man you have ever seen
@pikachu it's good to know that people on FB are the same everywhere
Doggos > men
@pikachu I'm dead 👌
@pikachu the guy always has a mustache composed of exactly 16 hairs
@realtoddhoward or the absolute nastiest neck beard. Like literally he shaves his face all neatly so the beard starts under his chin and along his jaw
@pikachu please do not subtoot me, Bryce Youngquist, who is both of those people
@bryceyoungquist sorry Bryce
@pikachu why are the cishets?
@pikachu @pikachu I'm all these things and girls don't care for me at all!
But yeah actually I know why. it's cause those guys are a good ass fuck. they sure as hell ain't good for anything else. Man, the fluid fiesta is good when girls stay straight with men like that.
All girls want is a mentally stable guy who's a nice lay and has some sort of interest or hobby. But let me tell you, trying to find that is a gauntlet of disappointment. It ain't much but it's so fucking rare.
Just a general instance with a catchy name.